She will never stop testing you for weakness. To be crude and for a lack of more succinct language, women are what I’d consider to be perpetually biologically insecure. They are always thinking in the back of their heads “what if I have made a mistake.” It is this constant need for romantic reassurance that causes them to rigorously shit test their men, on a seemingly primal level women are utterly obsessed with feeling safe, both emotionally and materially, and so will thusly test their boyfriends/husbands to see if he still has what it takes to make them “feel safe.” Women do not rigorously shit test their men out of malice, but merely out of insecurity, out of a need to feel protected, out of a nagging sense of insecurity that they “just need to make sure” they have made the right choice and are still in a relationship with a man who is badass.
They will wear their men down with their insecurity, self-sabotaging the relationship they have with him, seeking affirmation of his strength by acting out to see how he will handle the situation. The feedback gained from “seeing how he handles shit” thusly allows her to re-evaluate her opinion of him, to deduce if he is still the strong man she originally fell in love with, or if he has become weak and thus an obsolete romantic artifact in sore need of replacement. The psychological pressure from a woman’s shit tests on a man’s psyche, repeatedly and over a period of a relationship may be the very cause in all its sheer irony for a strong man to become a shell of his former self, the very thing women despise. How or why such a man became weak is irrelevant to her, all that is relevant to her is if the man she is with is strong or not, that is her fixation, as far as she is concerned if she was so easily able to make him weak with her mind games then he is unworthy of her, period. Female nature is utterly and brutally ruthless in this way, some would even argue sociopathic, indeed what men perceive to be beautiful almost always comes with many a hidden condition attached, the incredible prerequisite that he will shoulder all and any burden on her behalf.
As soon as a man can no longer give a woman “that safe feeling”, she will leave him and find a guy who can make her feel safe. She will then rewrite history in her memory to say the man she is leaving was always a pussy and that he failed in his duties to her, she will paint him as the bad guy so that it makes it easier for her to branch swing to the next guy without feeling bad or having any sense of personal responsibility for it. She has to demonise him and paint herself as the victim within her own mind to allow herself to carry on without hating herself, it’s easy to wrong a man she has convinced herself is “the bad guy”, but a conscience makes it all but impossible to wrong such a man despite his shortcomings if she were to cast herself in the role of antagonist rather than he. She needs him to “be the bad guy” so that she can move on. As far as she is concerned, it’s his fault she lost interest in him, regardless or despite if he did everything in his power for her. It’s always the man’s fault in the mind of a woman. She wants a man she can’t change but she tries to change him as a form of counterintuitive test of his strength, and if she succeeds in changing a man into someone who is no longer dominant she will grow to hate what she has made of him.
In a way, one could say women use masculinity up in this manner. Going from one relationship to the next, weakening a man until he is no longer attractive and then when he has become too weak from his love for her, in her disgust and repulsion of what she has made him she moves onto another man only to again repeat the tortuous process. Jumping from one man to the next until she finally comes upon a man who she is incapable of compromising in such a manner, the immovable rock. This is the man who she will ultimately fall for; to women these are the men of commodity, the one’s that can be relied upon, the one’s worthy of their love.
These are the kinds of men who realise that men aren’t allowed to fall in love the way that women are, as men we can never “just love a bitch”, love and emotional indulgence are luxuries reserved for the realm of women, it is this which is their ultimate privilege, despite their seeming obliviousness to such a rule of attraction. If we, as men, are to indulge in the same emotions that women do, and let them grow to the intensity that our women do, to let them take hold of us and weaken us, we will ultimately lose the girl and become unattractive to her. In stark contrast, if a woman falls in love with a man and lets her feelings go and loses a part of who she is to that, then it’s fine, the relationship will not fall apart, the man won’t lose attraction to her because she shows weakness, in fact he may love her more for appreciating who he is as it is the ultimate form of endearment that nearly all men long to feel. Women can show weakness and be sexy but men cannot, even when such a woman is begging to see that weakness so she can “feel connected to you” it is always the burden of man not to give in to such sugar-coated duplicity. If a man is to allow himself to fall in love to the extent that he starts to lose who he is independent of that woman and her love for him, he starts to be perceived as weak and it is game over for him.
Women want you to fall in love with them, but not so much so that you don’t make them feel safe anymore. They want to be loved, but as a man if you fall in love and allow that to change who you are, to be overwhelmed by them and allow them to erode your identity, you no longer remain attractive. To keep a woman you must remain everything you were when she found you, despite everything, despite a tirade of emotional manipulation manifesting itself as shit tests. You see with women it’s not you in and of yourself that they are attracted to, it’s your masculinity and how that makes them feel which they find attractive. The esotericism of dominance is what triggers and captivates female attraction; its absence will have her discard you in search of a new source of dominance. The wholly irrational thing about this whole sordid ordeal is that you cannot properly love a woman and let them all the way into the fiber of your being without such a love directly translating into psychological vulnerability. Agápe inherently elicits vulnerability. Women desire connection with that vulnerability whilst simultaneously, feel contempt for that vulnerability when it becomes prominent enough to translate into weakness.
This is the kernel of a definitive reference work on all of the topics you cover. There is a lot of wisdom, controversial though some may find it, condensed into an easily-readable 3-minute read here. Thank you.
Agreed – a perfect correlation to my own experience. Well done.
Three minute? I have been here an hour, reading and re-reading various parts of it, this is a concentration of wisdow that could be enlarged into a full blown manual into the art of understanding women.
> You see with women it’s not you in and of yourself that they are attracted to, it’s your masculinity and how that makes them feel which they find attractive.
You can bold that sentence.
Sticky-noted on my wall.
The funny thing is youre gonna be one hell of a man if you can stay emotional-free even from your 20 until your dead. in this modern society pop culture basically brainwash new men into becoming more emotional. in my family im like the ice cold psycho, and I dont even see myself as emotional less
This here is right on point.
A lot of guys are as emotional as women and these guys tend to have substance abuse issues, head issues, or they are flat out narcissists with the emotional development of a 3 year old. And guess what? A lot of these emotional guys are closet cases, which is why they try to get under the skin of other guys, so to speak, and also why they play the white knight around women they do or do not know, because they are acting like the fat friend of a fine chick, jealous and out to cock block, while hiding the fact that they are hating on the guy because they do not have an offer to suck him off, and hate the thought that their girl friend does have the opportunity.
Reblogged this on Evolution of the Zebra and commented:
This article is right on point……it’s all subconscious for us, we don’t even realize this is what we are doing.
Very helpful.
Lol everything I read is so true I couldn’t believe it but as woman we do love a strong man I’m constenly aruging wit my husband for being a weak men come on I don’t want to see him cry infront of me I just can’t handle it since I grow up wit such a strong father who was a rock in my family nowadays men cry show too much emotions
That’s pretty sexist. If men aren’t allowed to show emotions the suicide rates will go up. You’re ridiculous and ultimately selfish.
they’re allowed to do whatever they want, just don’t expect the girl to stick around
I come from a traditional patriarchal family my parents have been together for 50 years, in my parents culture women were brought up to obey their husband for the most part. When my ex left me recently and i was devasted and depressed i was told by my mother .”men should be strong, when misfortune strikes them they dont let it bring them down, they let it roll over like water over duck’s back and move on with indifference” in other words she was saying stop whining like a little bitch suck it up and be a fucking man.
This is true not in an offensive way but the reason behind women testing their men and the insecurities may be enhanced I think by their childhood upbringing, if they felt insecure growing up I think it will be compounded as well as personality , independent women are less likely to seek the reinforcemental reaction from men
U.S. is a broken society to start from, but lets see what creates crazy and insecure men?.
Here are five good reasons:
Reason 1.A bad mother, and her brainwashing techniques teaching him to become a slave!.
Reason 2.Messed up families witch creates family issues among other things.
Reason 3.Death of a father, being abandoned by your father, being abused in childhood.
Reason 4.Seeing your parents fight constantly, and even bad social economy witch leads to such events.
Reason 5.Parents with obsessive compulsive disorders who tend to control their children!.
I grew up in a messed up family, and you know you’re right having a messed up childhood can screw you up that part is true.How very unfortunate isn’t it Leah?.
Yeah, and there are plenty of feminists mothers out there who start emasculating their sons from early on and who get upset at displays of boyishness, independence, and aggression. I have seen women mentally and emotionally abusing their very young sons, and these women get off on it with a sadistic joy, they know EXACTLY what they are doing, and it is EVIL. I have also seen a group of women become concerned when the very young son of one of them was simply pushing a heavy object, and feeling a sense of empowerment and self confidence over his ability. The boy’s mother immediately rushed over and set him on his back, as if he needed to sleep! The boy immediately became upset and started wailing. He was full of energy, and was being made to behave in an absolutely passive fashion. His mother then began to fan him, as if he were upset by the heat! She was doing her damnedest to emasculate him, while feigning that she was looking after him! This was a grown woman, his mother, acting on behalf of the sisterhood, and doing her best to immediately emasculate her son, who was perhaps no older than 3 years old!
I’m sorry brother but this is great. Makes me feel as if I’m reading Shakespeare.
I think that relationship problems comes from the breakdown of the family unit in which both parents now have to work and the kid is left to be raised by the school system and television. Television provides a false relationship model to be followed where the men beg the girl to be theirs. This false model is further reinforced by the custom of the guy kneeling to ask the girl in marriage. Kneeling shows the male being in submission to his future wife and reinforces the belief that men have to chase women and somehow prove to them that their worthy of their love. It ruins the male female polarity and it goes against the instinctual programming of the female.
I agree and I disagree. We talk about how much television influences and brainwashes people. We say that guys pick up on all the horse sh-t that television and the films try to sell us. However, the majority of women portrayed on television are fairly attractive and relatively THIN. Yet, the majority of women we see are heavy to fat, so television apparently is not doing anything to influence women into being thin and attractive. And, if we believe that television is a brainwashing devise, then why aren’t most women thin?
Yes, indeed!! This is a good article!
I agree with the take on the shit tests women put men through. They certainly do it to feel safe and secure.
I am sooo glad I don’t have to put up with the shit tests from women! I don’t even register on their radar! Of course I give off the vibe that I don’t have patience for women and their BS at all. I don’t give women any more attention than I absolutely have to.
Take the Red Pill!!!
Take care all!!
Steve Timm
Great article, but you could have shortened it to few words.
Women test men, to see who he really is. You see true face of a person when he is under pressure, women are adept at psychology since birth. There are too many violent, cruel, sadistic, evil people. There are far many rapes that you wish to acknowledge so no wonder women shit test men.
For us men its like with a car, you first test a car until you buy it. You sometimes pedal to the metal to see if those horsepowers are still there, to see if its still that awesome car you bought.
Its natural and logical, to test things prior to using them, or test people before befriending them. But sadly, women tests ussually fail, just look at how many scumbags get women easily. Their tests in many cases are dumb and not working. I will give you an example, they typical hard to get test, the funny thing is normal men who have options are tired of this silly old game so they leave, they are tired of this old game, but sociopaths or desperate ones dont have problem with chasing one woman their almost whole life. They cling unto them, slowly manipulate them until they get them in and well you know how it then goes, if women wants to get out he manipulates her with either violence, destroying of her emotional security, kids or the most used one….suicide. So many many women stay in abusive relationships with no esacpe, because well they put themselves into them in the first place with their testing….isnt it kind of ironic, that the thing that should save them from this scenario puts them in it first place?
But in my opinion bs Hollywood crap and such destroyed typical courting and family traditions. In the old times, men had the responsibility of protecting their female siblings from such abuse, they could be punished by laws if not doing so. So women were far more secure. Now you know why those traditions rose, they had meaning. Plus just look at the punishments of rape for instance in medieval england was, the man was tied up and women could do anything she wants with him, ussually they knifed them to death or if she didnt want to do the killing, she could just order execution or if she wanted she could set him free. Now look, women are not even reporting rape because its useless, there is no punishment for the rapist or abuser.
I love this site and have learned soo much of late…it’s eye opening to discover why some exes have done what they did and why the current girl(s) do what they do…while some things are new to me I have never, nor would I ever, change who I am or what I do once meeting a female…I can honestly chalk that one up to my father who I probably inherited that from! I like to tell females that I’m a mirror…my treatment of you is a reflection of how you treat me…I’ve had the current girl tell me…’no one has ever spoken to me the way you do…I’ve always been able to boss my exes around and have them do what I want them to do…’ to which I politely reply…’I’m not that guy’!! But the struggle is real…I will keep reading and learning…thanks for doing what you do…invaluable service!! Just hope more guys wake up!!
The thing with this biological theory of insecurity is it is failing to be the man. The women are absolutely right they are insecure and what is more the men are too. What is needed is for the men and women to work together to acheive that security. men need to come clean and admit they are insecure. no point pretending because it just makes things worse. blaming it on biology is bs. women blaming men is bs. It is abusive relationships both are being harmed and harming in these situations. The men pretending that women are inherently insecure is not helping and neither is pretending that men are secure. you can tell the men are not secure reading this article and the comments and I am not going to pretend to be an exception. the problem is in the system the environment. In these books I read some time ago called the ringing cedars series there is an important example which I think helps unravel this whole thing. The idea is that there is the pregnant woman so biologically this is where the relationships is supposed to lead. Now in the system what happens is you have all this stress. It can often happen that the couple moves to a bigger house during the pregnancy. The mother is working. She has to quit smoking and there is the phenomenom of eating lots of something like grapes and they might take lots of shower and all sorts. There is something wrong the women is stressed and this is not good for the child. She is not getting the food she needs there is bills landing on the doormat and so on. this is all instinctive and related to the same issues you might have in a relationship when there is no baby. the women is still uncomfortable insecure the apartment is too small. there is no garden. she has to go to the store to buy food and it is not fresh, it is coated in chemicals. This isn’t biology to blame. this is biology helping to understand that there is something very wrong with this way of life that the pregnant woman needs to have this secure environment with the nourishment for the child and if you can’t find this sort of woman then you have to create them. These sickly women it is deprssing they look ok when they are young but it is still going down hill and having children with a woman like some of these comments it is recipe for getting your kids abused. Being the man is not blaming biology and thinking woman are to blame it is working together to make security. women need to recognize a man can’t enhance security for her or her children by getting an expensive house and so on that just adds to the stress. the man is not to blame any more than the woman it is only by working together to create the security that the man actually also needs.
never forget guys… women communicate & “read you” covertly. so when she delivers the shit test, not only is your response important, but so is how you look when answering, your body language, and if you seem nervous.
i just chuckle and smile… then look them right in the eye while delivering the usual ‘agree and amplify, or disagree and amplify.
for women that have turned me off for whatever reason, i just ignore the test, but if she’s rude, i go “cool nuclear” and walk-off.
This is what I’ve been looking for. I’m a firm believer in “cool nuclear”! Why sit around and eat shit salads?
A lot of truth here.
I am enjoying your entire blog tremendously. Thank you for sharing, damn I have just spent over an hour reading and browsing over your archive.
Hi,
What do you mean by “She wants a man she can’t change”. How does she try to change the man she is with?
“Women desire connection with that vulnerability whilst simultaneously, feel contempt for that vulnerability when it becomes prominent enough to translate into weakness.”
What do you say to women who purposelly repels this vulnerablity because it shows their weakness.