“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” – Isaac Asimov
Contents:
1.) Introduction
2.) The Maxims
3.) In Closing
4.) Relevant Reading
1.) Introduction:
Much was covered in the article preceding this, Fifty Shades of Red. However, I remember thinking when writing the piece that there was much more to say. In light of that, as well as the resoundingly positive response the previous article received, I thought it only apt to pen a follow-up.
2.) The Maxims:
IM MAXIM #51 – “Women are mercenary. They do whatever it takes to win. They will switch sides or outright lie to secure the man they deem their best option. That’s what you are to a woman. An option.” Refer to Maxim #45.
IM MAXIM #52 – “Society claims a woman shown your deepest fears will appreciate “your true essence.” This is a myth, a grandiose lie. The average man naively expects a woman to treasure his vulnerability in much the way he does hers. She cannot. Presented with such a burden, a woman will plan her exit. Your vulnerability will not be tolerated. Such a man’s error is conflating his innate attraction to female vulnerability with a reciprocal attitude. There is no reciprocal attraction. Pre-sexual revolution, men knew this acutely.”
IM MAXIM #53 – “Superficial vulnerability from a position of power is attractive to women, this is what it means to “open up.” Substantive vulnerability, eg: being insecure, is not.” Refer to Maxim #52.
IM MAXIM #54 – “You think sharing your weakness demonstrates trust and love. You believe you can bond over your pain. You believe wrongly. All she sees is the repulsiveness of your weakness. She does not respect your weakness, your pain, or how difficult it was for you to share your pain with her. Women do not care. They can admire your persistence in the face of such, but not your need to express it.” Refer to Maxim #52 and #53.
IM MAXIM #55 – “Money on a man looks like makeup on a woman. Money is makeup for men.”
IM MAXIM #56 – “Money is more important than women. Chase money, not women. You are more likely to get women chasing money than you are to get money chasing women. Without money or godlike genetics, you’re playing on hard mode. Money makes everything better, the quality of woman you can get is the epitome of such, not the exception.” Refer to #Maxim 55
IM MAXIM #57 – “Men control an interaction by being nonreactive; women control an interaction by being emotionally intense.”
IM MAXIM #58 – “Women feed off excess emotion, men tire from it, with the exception of anger indulgence. Woman’s emotional nature thus makes her highly histrionic. Corollary: men with cluster B personality disorders are histrionic and thrive on emotion. In this way, they are similar to women. You will see many similarities between women and dark triad men (particularly narcissists) if you look closely enough.”
IM MAXIM #59 – “Women thrive on drama, it allows them to weaponise emotion and push an agenda. Starve them of emotion, and they have nothing to fight with. A woman starved of emotion will become desperate to sustain her psychological onslaught. As such, she will attempt to pry it from the dead, exaggerating observations and manufacturing issues in order to sustain the indignance necessary to maintain her psychological assault.” Refer to Maxim #57.
IM MAXIM #60 – “Women are psychologically violent.” Refer to Maxim #45, #57, #58 and #59.
IM MAXIM #61 – “Effeminate men and masculine women are undesirable. We are programmed to help women and respect men, not the reverse. Women get social power from being pitied, men get respect (and thus social power) from being powerful. The reverse is not true.”
IM MAXIM #62 – “Women are the biggest potential threat to your long-term happiness. In the words of Nietzsche: “she is the most dangerous plaything.” Always be guarded. Many of history’s greatest men fought in wars, beat poverty and built vast commercial empires. What is the one thing that unites the undoing of such glorious men? Women.”
IM MAXIM #63 – “Always protect the core of your essence, should you choose to let her in, never let her in completely. See yourself as a castle, let her into the castle, but do not give her the key to the heaviest door. She will notice the door is closed. She will ask you what’s behind the door and if “you can let her in?” Ignore her protests and manipulations. Never open that door. Not a woman alive other than perhaps your mother is worth opening this door for. If you believe love entails “sharing everything,” you don’t understand love.” [See here for more.] Refer to Maxim #50, #51 and #62.
IM MAXIM #64 – “Women lead double lives. She will project a strong outward good girl facade whilst engaging in acts of depravity in secret. We know whoring reduces a woman’s value. They know this too. But rather than simply not whore, they would prefer to deceive.”
IM MAXIM #65 – “The more sexual partners she’s had, the more mentally damaged she is. Women who have slept with lots of men dehumanise and objectify men through sex. Such women are poor relationship prospects. Aware this damages their value and in a bid to have men take them seriously, they distort their past by playing down their number.” Refer to Maxim #64 and #67
IM MAXIM #66 – “If you really want to know a woman’s notch count (number of partners), feign non-judgement. Indicate you have slept with hundreds of women. From comfort, follows truth.”
IM MAXIM #67 – “The majority of women would rather improve their capacity to deceive than change anything non-superficial about themselves.”
IM MAXIM #68 – “Women’s interest in the field of academic psychology is nothing more than a manifestation of her innate Machiavellian disposition seeking to enhance its efficacy.” Refer to Maxim #45, #64 and #67.
IM MAXIM #69 – “Women hold men to a higher standard of morality than they hold themselves. As such, they are prone to adopting the moral high ground in an attempt to “appear clean” whilst manipulating another. Never supplicate.” Refer to Maxim #64.
IM MAXIM #70 – “A woman’s mistakes never count, a man’s are never forgotten.” Refer to Maxim #32 and #60.
IM MAXIM #71 – “A man raised fatherless, or to a weak father, has a high chance of becoming effeminate. A woman raised fatherless, or to a weak father, has a high chance of becoming masculine. Poorly raised children make for dysfunctional adults. Such individuals can undergo self-improvement and reprogram themselves over a period of time, but such things are rare and far from optimal. If you are a parent: do right by your kids. Men, be manlier, less lenient. Women: you are not more important than your family. You are nothing without them. Betray your children and their father at your peril.”
IM MAXIM #72 – “If you’re not where you want to be in life, do not have serious relationships with women. Her perception of you will remain rooted in the former version of yourself and her needs/issues will hinder your progress. Whilst you’re trying to build your business and body, she will whine, spread negative energy, and burden you with her problems. Her negativity will infect you, hindering your growth. If you’re not where you want to be aspirationally, you have no need for a serious relationship.”
IM MAXIM #73 – “Rarely are women an asset, they are a responsibility and thus a liability. Women are a black hole for money, time and all other valuable resources you possess. This is why your time/commitment has value. Do not squander it, do not let it be appropriated. Be selective in your associations.”
IM MAXIM #74 – “Women are entitled. Assume all are, because even if some aren’t, most are. It’s not a question of “is she entitled?” but rather a question of “is she not?” Scarcely does a woman show appreciation for the labour of man. Is there a problem your woman wants you to fix? It’s not a request, it’s a demand. In her eyes, its is your obligation rather than your choice to help her. You don’t get respect, credit or appreciation for helping entitled women because their narcissistic natures find them inherently deserving. A woman can be conditioned out of this behaviour, but if she isn’t, she will default to it.”
IM MAXIM #75 – “Women scarcely appreciate and commonly expect.” Refer to Maxim #74
IM MAXIM #76 – “Women are solipsistic, not abstractive. They do not care about things that do not affect them. If you want a woman to care about something, you have to show her how it affects her on a personal level. Otherwise, she will be disinterested and indifferent.”
IM MAXIM #77 – “Solipsism means women do not perceive the world as an abstract entity, but merely as a stimulus that they experience. As such, their view of reality does not perceive independent of themselves, but strictly in relation to themselves.”
IM MAXIM #78 – “Women are highly susceptible to groupthink and herd consensus. Women do not like to stick out, they strive to be “seen as normal.” This is likewise true to a degree with men; however, with women, the effect is far more pronounced.”
IM MAXIM #79 – “The majority of women define themselves by their beauty, and so never become anything greater than their bodies. Women without beauty who define themselves by their intellect are often jealous of women who have beauty because they resent having to work harder to achieve similar or lesser social success.”
IM MAXIM #80 – “If you are not in the top 20% of men, you do not exist. Whenever women talk about how men have it easier, they refer to the top 20% of men. Women are so privileged they do not even stop to notice the struggles of the great swath of men beneath them. These men are “the invisibles,” by merit of hypergamy they do not exist, not even as a blip on her radar. Should such a man become a blip, he is a creep to be shunned, shamed and shooed.”
IM MAXIM #81 – “Never enter relationships you can’t leave. If you catch yourself forming dependence, it’s time to leave.”
IM MAXIM #82 – “Women are fickle, do not depend on them. More generally speaking, you should depend on people for specific functions, but segregate such functions. Therefore, if one domino falls, the rest are unaffected. This allows you to be outcome independent and replace people who stop performing a role. Epitomise this attitude in your interactions with women for a noticeable boost in game.”
IM MAXIM #83 – Reputation is everything to women. It is more important to her than any moral concern, rule or abstract principle. Refer to Maxim #45 and #51. [See here for more.]
IM MAXIM #84 – “Women detest criticism and judgement in any form. Even when intended constructively, they will misperceive an attack upon their reputation. Women can’t handle criticism. They ask for the truth out of ego and self-importance, but they cannot handle it. Hence why people tend to use baby talk with women and sugar-coat things rather than “telling it like it is.” Refer to Maxim #83
IM MAXIM #85 – “Ignore what she says, watch what she does. Women lie with incredible frequency. Combine this with solipsism devoid of self-awareness, and you do not have someone whose words bear any relation to reality. Corollary: don’t mention the red pill to women, just practice it. They will hate the ideas, but love the effects.”
IM MAXIM #86 – “Women are obsessed with claiming they/their gender has a mastery over qualities that they scarcely possess. Eg: logic, maturity, thoughtfulness, introspective self-awareness etc.”
IM MAXIM #87 – “Women are perpetual adolescents. Women mistake confidence and preferences with maturity, but such things are neither. Assertiveness is not maturity. Maturity is measured by the level of responsibility one can assume, as well as the capacity to sufficiently cope with the pressure that said responsibility entails. Women perform poorly on both metrics in comparison to their male counterparts.”
IM MAXIM #88 – “A woman scarcely matures past 18. She simply becomes pickier and more entitled with age, mistaking self-aggrandisement for enlightenment, although such is the contrary. Likewise, women infinitely obsess over the maturity of individuals, using it as a point of contention to manipulate people. And so it is with profound deadpan irony that women shit test men on their maturity, deeming male behaviour they disagree with as boylike. Women mature faster than men, but they do not mature for as long as men. As such, they mature less.” Refer to Maxim #87
IM MAXIM #89 – “The feminine is, by its nature, attention seeking, histrionic, whiny, tearful, prone to delusion and weak at introspection. Traits we would typically associate with children. It is therefore not unfair to say that women do not mature as much as men, but rather, unfair to say that they do.” Refer to Maxim #87 and 88.
IM MAXIM #90 – “Women play games. Women say they do not play games and hate those that do. This is part of their game.” Refer to Maxim #45
IM MAXIM #91 – “A woman’s lower brain will eventually trump her higher brain, assuming it does not do so instantly. The underlying mechanisms which govern female behaviour are universal, rather than unique. Furthermore, such mechanisms trump higher reason in matters of female decision-making. This is what we mean by “AWALT.” People who mistake “AWALT” as an assertion that the more superficial aspects of women are identical have missed the point.”
IM MAXIM #92 – ” A man’s manhood is deduced from the likeability of his actions, a woman’s womanhood is simply assumed by merit of her age. In a reversal of how women deem male behaviour they disapprove of to be boylike, women will distinguish between girls and women to dismiss negative criticism about women. For example, your typical woman would rationalise the wisdom here doesn’t describe her because these maxims are true of girls, not women. And naturally, a woman idiotic enough to engage in such a rationalisation will always see herself as the woman, never the girl.” Refer to Maxim #87 and 88.
IM MAXIM #93 – “If a woman is attainable, but you believe she is out of your league, she is. Self-fulfilling prophecy.“
IM MAXIM #94 – “Depth to men lies in logical complexity and philosophy. Depth to women is the process of interpreting and examining the meaning of her emotions.”
IM MAXIM #95 – “The more beautiful a woman is, the more men will accept or even enable the most contrived nonsense from her. You would do better not to accept it at all.”
IM MAXIM #96 – “A man who commits easily and gives attention freely is the male equivalent of a slut to women. He will be used, but by nature of his availability and the ease of which his emotional intimacy is available, never desired. This one-sided dynamic is that which constitutes the fabled friend zone.”
IM MAXIM #97 – “Women need and crave masculinity in their lives. If you are in a relationship, but not sufficiently masculine, your woman will cheat on you. It’s not so much a matter of ‘if’ as it is a matter of ‘when.’ As such, a relationship’s success is your primary responsibility, not hers.” Refer to Maxim #72.
IM MAXIM #98 – “If you’re not a man who is comfortably masculine, women will emotionally abuse you until you finally learn to be masculine. Their nature, although unintended, perversely serves in much the manner that tough love does. How she hurts you will give you the impetus necessary to become a better man. It is women who drive men to the red pill.”
IM MAXIM #99 – “Men are inherently distrustful of women because their logical inconsistency vitiates their credibility. Women are inherently distrustful of men because they fear his physical desire absent of a willingness to commit.”
IM MAXIM #100 – “The low value man can do nothing right, the high value man can do nothing wrong. The higher your social value, the less the rules apply.”
3.) In Closing:
So that’s part 2 finished, and a 100 maxims penned. What are your favourite maxims? Do you think one can be improved? Spotted a mistake? Share your thoughts in the comments.
4.) Relevant Reading:
Buy “The Art of Seduction” in the USA
Buy “The Art of Seduction” in the UK
Buy “The Art of Seduction” in Canada
Buy “The Art of Wordly Wisdom” in the USA
Buy “The Art of Wordly Wisdom” in the UK
Buy “The Art of Wordly Wisdom” in Canada
Buy “The Manipulated Man” in the USA
Buy “The Manipulated Man” in the UK
Buy “The Manipulated Man” in CanadaBuy “The Rational Male” in the USA
Buy “The Rational Male” in the UK
Buy “The Rational Male” in Canada
Buy “The Rational Male: Preventive Medicine” in the USA
Buy “The Rational Male: Preventive Medicine” in the UK
Buy “The Rational Male: Preventive Medicine” in Canada
Well said.
The first line of #85 should end with the word “incredible,” not “incredibly.” Wonderful work! These will get passed around a lot!
I’m glad you enjoyed the piece. Fixed the typo. Thanks.
I highly suggest a more elaborate post for Maxim 96. For those in LTR’s and unfamiliar with the consequences of most relationships with women.
Maxim 97 should refer to Maxim 72
These maxims are my bible, encyclopedia, and laws of living. Deeply appreciate all your work. I await your next piece!
I concur with your recommendation regarding Maxim #97, I’ve updated it to refer to #72.
My favourite Maxim has to be 86. I seem to recall a girl telling me her best quality was loyalty, weeks later she sucks my dick despite being taken. LOL
66 is true. being non-judgemental makes them think that it’s ok & they love to brag about how “bad” they are. they hate being judged.
IM MAXIM #65 – “The more sexual partners she’s had, the more mentally damaged she is. Women who have slept with lots of men dehumanise and objectify men through sex. Such women are poor relationship prospects. Aware this damages their value, they consciously obfuscate their past.”
Would you elaborate on why you think this is?
I think it’s because of the conflict between the ‘being judged for loving sex’ vs the fact that women are probably more sexual than us and far more feral (the fact they love rough, dirty sex, and being dominated proof of this)
I also think having a high notch count destroys pair bonding for us men, too.
Probably a good thing really, since when i remember my first few girls and how i was so attached to them.
At the same time while reading through i notice a certain amount of these are fundamental to males too, if you know what i mean.
“I also think having a high notch count
destroys pair bonding for us men, too.”
You think right, it is far more inherent than it is cultural or social construct for men to place lower value on promiscuous women. One of the biggest mistakes made on the count of either the male or female sex is to incorrectly assume that the opposite sex engages in behavior for the same reasons. Two examples are the different ways either gender experiences romantic love and jealousy, because both genders experiences love and jealousy does not mean they experience it in the same way. Either gender will experience it for different reasons and incentives.
For example:
Women experience jealousy as in instinctive compulsion to defend the source of her protection, provision and resources from the charms of another woman.
Men experience jealousy as an instinctive compulsion to defend the paternity of his future offspring.
Paternity is the concern of the male, not the female. Protection, provision and resources is the concern of the female, not the male.
Masculine jealousy, although emotionally overwhelming and prone to aggressive reaction, is nothing to be ashamed of. Male instinctive jealousy is the product of millions of years of evolution, it is a males biological alarm system designed to warn the male of deception on the part of the female. Jealousy is one of the males most powerful assets considering the preemptive perception it bestows naturally.
Male jealousy is also the reason why men immediately devalue promiscuous women, the chaste woman represents a significantly raised probability of assured paternity of male offspring, and as such is naturally valued by the man.
If you’ve experienced the jealousy monster you’re aware of how overwhelming it is, when experienced your reaction is autonomous, instantaneous, almost involuntary. This is instinctive reaction, learned and experienced men can control this reaction but can do nothing to stop their inner compulsion to react, it is overwhelming. Men who were conditioned to perceive jealousy as weakness and insecurity try to ignore it and hide it, they rationalize the instinct as primitive and unbecoming of the civilized, it is these men who are easily cuckolded due to their delusion of superiority over their own base nature.
To deny base human nature is a feminine characteristic. The difference is that women deny their nature while indulging in it, males that deny their nature also suppress it. feminism itself is based entirely in the denial of female nature while indulging in it.
The call for acceptance of female promiscuous sexuality is not progressive, it is degenerative imbalance. It is nothing but a ploy to control male sexuality.
There is nothing wrong with the call to accept promiscuous women, sluts can do whatever they want. But acceptance of sluts in society does not mean willfully committing to them or marrying them. It is not in male nature to commit to whores, that’s the way it is.
“If you’ve experienced the jealousy monster you’re aware of how overwhelming it is, when experienced your reaction is autonomous, instantaneous, almost involuntary. This is instinctive reaction, learned and experienced men can control this reaction but can do nothing to stop their inner compulsion to react, it is overwhelming. Men who were conditioned to perceive jealousy as weakness and insecurity try to ignore it and hide it, they rationalize the instinct as primitive and unbecoming of the civilized, it is these men who are easily cuckolded due to their delusion of superiority over their own base nature.”
Great comment!
I remember getting insanely jealous when I found out one of my exes had been with 7 men (at the time) and i had only been with 3 girls…
I was insanely jealous and got obsessed about it. it’s awesome to know it’s inherent. This girl was a slut though, and i made her more slutty and she’s at least doubled if not tripled now. LOL. It was in my beta days (year and a half ago…) She would still snapchat exes etc and could not be trusted.
The bad thing is this is most girls now. And I’ve lost faith in it completely! In fact i’m so detached from it, as a defensive mechanism.
But yes, the guys who accept that female behaviour sounds like my friend – and also guys who have high numbers anyway – this guy has had 26 girls, so he doesn’t see issues with girls having high numbers. Weird how that works too. I think you always value less than your number, personally less than 20 for a fb, less than 5 for a serious girlfriend. But I tend to avoid that dreaded conversation (because of the issues aforementioned.)
If she’s not a virgin, she’s lying about her number. No point even asking. You can ascertain whether it is high or low simply by her behaviour/decorum/skill in the bedroom.
Depends if she’s the type to lie on her back…
I had one girl who had been with 26 yet she was abysmal in bed.
One girl who had been with 2 guys max (one of them 3 year relationship), and was wild.
Good point. If she’s in an LTR for a long time, it’s 1 cock, but she’s getting a lot of sex and so has ample opportunity to practice/hone her skills.
The girl in the 3 year relationship with a notch count of 2 had probably had more sex than the girl with 26 one night stands.
A higher notch count therefore doesn’t necessarily equate to greater sexual experience. You’re quite right.
It’s awesome. You could design posters of this and sell them.
great maxims…still waiting for “utilizing machiavellianism” though,never read it so I’m quite curious…
That article can be found here:
http://illimitablemen.com/2013/12/02/utilising-the-dark-triad-machiavellianism/
Oops,I meant narcissm, anyway,take your time…you sir,are a genius. I wonder what you do with all this info.Your women don’t know what their getting into….•﹏•
I’ve deeply enjoyed reading your work. With that being said its almost impossible to pick just one maxim as a favourite, for together they all paint a vivid and observationally accurate representation of the dynamics of male and female relationships.
BOOM!!!
I’ve got something to say in regard to maxim #99: ” Women are inherently distrustful of men because…” they are projecting. They only know how women work and therefore assume that men are like women. They wouldn’t trust themselves that’s for sure.
Love your stuff IM, it’s helping me and a lot of guys along the way.
I’d love to see you make a collection of methods and mind games women use to wear men down in a ltr to acquire power like push and pull, etc.
It’s odd, I can’t remember ever having read someone who managed to compose a thorough piece about this subject, but you seem to have the knowledge to do that.
My question concerns IM MAXIM #57 – “Men control an interaction by being non-reactive. Women control an interaction by being hyper-emotional.”.
How can one be non-reactive when a woman yells at him, insults him, gaslight him and shame him at the same time while not being able to leave? I’m talking about my mother. She destroys me psychologically every time I see her but I can’t leave otherwise she won’t give me the money I need anymore.
Example: she sent me an e-mail, I answered calm down for God’s sake. In my language, “for God’s sake” is the ame word as “bitch”. She decided to interprete it as me calling her a bitch. She asked me to say sorry, I said no, she was the one not being able to understand what people say (I used this expression often, she knew very well that I didn’t mean to insult her). When I refused to say sorry, she threw me out of the house and didn’t give me any money until I came back, crying and begging for her to forgive me after a few days of sleeping on the streets (it was winter, I came back because I would have died otherwise). She then proceeded to use that event as a way to crush me even more during the following weeks/months.
How can I hold frame and control the interactions with that kind of person? My example is personal and too specific (sorry for decreasing the quality of the comments you get) but it still may be relevant in the bigger picture: how can one win by being non-reactive towards a harpy?
@sebastian
I’ve had a Mother that has acted in similar fashion. I’ve been at stages in my life where I’ve lived in her house and not uttered a word to her for months due to extreme circumstances.
Firstly to address the bulk of this situation. You are not in control of your life I.e. You are too reliant on her for the basics in life and you should focus on changing this.
Your mum forcibly asking you to apologise and make you leave is her way of reframing and asserting her dominance over you. You returning to her house was her way of saying “it’s my way or the high way”. Understand that this is the frame that you operate in and any form of ‘mutiny’ will be met with this.
In regards to the argument itself, comply to her demands at face value. Wear a mask for her, the mask she wants to see. Be yourself elsewhere until you are no longer dependent on her. If she asks you to say sorry, burry your emotions and just say it, even though it’s an empty apology.
Maxim 57 helps with the preliminary in your situation. Women thrive off drama, it’s why soap operas exist. They will literally seek and cause high emotion evoking situations, you enable her emotions by responding to her “games”. By being unreactive you deny her of these emotions she seeks/needs.if she lashes out in the future, simply empathise with her “it must be tough being you” even though you don’t care, this will eventually have her seeking new stimuli.
When you’ve moved out and are no longer dependent on her, that’s when you reframe. She has to operate in your frame if she wants access to your life. If not, walk away, be un reactive. Don’t care; bye bye.
Thank you for your answer.
I am actually trying to get a job in engineering but her influence makes me into an empty shell, a broken man, and it is harder to get a job because of her.
Being unreactive, OK. But what should be done when she yells at me non, stop, insult me, disrespect me, refuse to leave and keep harrasing me? I tried being unreactive but she leverages that by yelling louder, insulting more, shaming more. She sees that behavior as a weak behavior (“I can get away by telling him he is a bitch, now let’s try to get it to the next level”). I also tried to answer back, tell her to shut up but usually she just escalates and because I operate in her frame I always lose. I still hadn’t find a way to handle this. Even if I give in 100% she will yell etc. And this toxic influence really fucks me up to the point it reduces my prospect of fleeing away. I have been diagnosed with depression, tried to commit suicide…She uses that against me and acts as if it’s an opportunity to exploit more of my weaknesses. I mean how fucked up is that?
I’m going to address your original post with a more lengthy comment later on (I’m busy at the moment.) How old are you? If you’re young enough, child protective services/social services may be an option (basically they’ll give you somewhere to live so you can get your shit together/escape her tyrannical batshittery.) You’re better off in care than with a cunt mother like that. If you’re under 18, I highly advise this. Even though she is your mother, she is a toxic woman, and will destroy you if she is allowed to continue in this manner. In my opinion this is child abuse. You need to escape. As is typical of an abuser (psychological or physical it doesn’t matter,) she will do everything to prevent that.
Unfortunately, I am over 18. Thank you a lot for taking some of your time to reply.
I don’t know if I can expect an answer. I wanted to update you about my latest thoughts. I won’t keep posting them after this. I thought your last message said you would give a more complete answer so I post this hoping you will answer. But maybe I didn’t understand your message correctly (I am not a native speaker).
I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s going on during an argument. There is a lot of gas lighting so if you knew a way to deal with that it would be great. But here is how it usually goes:
For whatever reasons, my mum yells at me and demands that I do something I don’t want to do (because it would damage my human dignity or because it’s ridiculous or whatever). I say no. She yells more. I say no. She shames me. I say no, she plays the victim card and cry. I say no, she threatens me. I say no, and here begins the real issue: she calls my beta father. I have nothing against him but my mother practically explains to him why I am a horrible person and he joins her in her efforts of making me doing what she wants me to do. Most of the time she won’t explain anything and my father just seeing her cry will take her side. So no I have to tell both my parents to go fuck themselves. To pass this “shit test” I must be prepared to walk away. But I don’t want to walk away from my father and to ruin our relationship. So I give in her desires, I let her do what she wants (usually…most of the time humiliates me and uses that momentary power she gained over me to gain more control over me. She breaks me and then find pleasure by humiliating me and hurting me psychologically and emotionally. She really gets pleasure from it. If you saw the grin she has on her face in those moments…). So what’s the point of even trying to resist if I’m sure I will lose in the end?
But recently, she has been doing something different. I began to try to hold frame, to say no, not to accept her every commands (literally, she would command me every waking minute I have, choosing when I should pee, what I should eat and everything), not to give in her blackmail and threats….but I am not skilled at it. So my major response is to yell at her. I am not strong enough yet to hold frame while being stoic. So she frames me as being a monster.
She is currently turning the whole family against me. It’s little things and they don’t take it seriously but that surely gives me a bad image and I wouldn’t be surprised if 10 or 20 years down the road she convince the whole family that I am a bad person. She is currently using my every move to solidify that frame even if that means making up facts and lying about me. She truly hates masculinity and men. Few days ago I heard a girl talking about how she grew up and it struck me that she was able to grow up as an individual who was able to choose who she is, how she behaved (outside of not cursing or behaving badly of course) and most of all how she thinks. It struck me that I was not raised as an individual. Anyway, long rant. I could go on and on about how I was raised, forbidden to have male friends because male were violent and bad, forbidden to go out of the house because it was dangerous, forbidden to have a girlfriend…Bottom line is to be able to pass my mum’s “shit test” (can we still call that shit tests?) I would have to 1)don’t need her anymore and 2)be prepared to walk away from my whole family. I need her financial support and I love my family (even her even if I’m beginning to resent her). So I can’t walk away. The only way I could get out of it would be to find a job to make money (I’m working at it) and to be ready to give up on my family, which I don’t want. I don’t think she will die soon so I’m really eaten alive by those choices and events that may occur in the future. Fuck. I’m sorry. I just don’t know who to turn to. That’s pathetic. You’re like a god to me, I mean a true man who could handle this situation. Please give me some guidance. A book, anything, so that I could walk the right path alone and come out of this without bothering anyone-which I’m doing right now, ironically.
I also would like to add that her behavior also drives my father crazy. He tried to leave her but everytime he comes back feeling guilty and it’s harder for him to think about leaving because she shames him because of him leaving. She also yells on my brothers and make stupid and unrealistic demands but her behavior towards them is not as bad as towards me. I spoke to that with a shrink and he said one can not understand what she seems to be more abusive with me. But she is a pain in the ass for everyone, even though everyone accepts her behavior as “who she is” and loves her anyway.
your problem is that you are reacting, meaning, playing her game.
you must agree with her to deflate her, but not from a frame of being crushed by her.
you must agree from a frame of strength, as if you two were allies and you were examining/talking about a third person.
that is the only way to deal with someone who needs that drama.
resisting her will not work.
ignoring her will get her angrier.
being crushed by her will get her to come at you more, so as to get you to gear up, take action the way she demands that you do.
you must show her that you see her side of the argument, without analyzing it, without resisting it, without criticizing it.
you lead the interaction by yielding to it, but also taking it to the direction you want it to go.
much like, if the two of you were pushing palms against each other and she were the one doing the pushing,
in order to continue with the contact, she would have to keep pushing your hand wherever it went,
and you would be the one controlling the movement
yield to her so as to show your strength.
a mother is the pickiest, cruelest at her son when she sees weakness in him, and wants to get him to become stronger for the world.
if she can pick at her son so easily, then all the women out there can crush him likewise
IM MAXIM #57 – “Men control an interaction by being non-reactive. Women control an interaction by being hyper-emotional.”.
I think it’s necessary to point out that by being non-reactive, it could either mean to disagree or agree. In this case, if his mother is trying to push his buttons to assert control, disagreeing with her is what she considers an act of “reacting” to her mind game. However, if he simply agrees, she will get no emotional stimulant out of her own mind-game. Great writing, Mr. I.M. Hope to see more of your art.
I can relate and life get’s better.
I was 17 at the time, I had my Mum on my back constantly about getting a job ( it was 2008/2009, jobs where non existent). I was depressed and had just been prescribed roaccutane for my cystic acne. My Mum would always be causing arguments with me over stupid things, I would purposely lock myself in my room to avoid contact with her (no contact = no arguments right ?).
One day I couldn’t avoid her. as It was NYE and she had plans of traveling across the country to party with her friends and their family. I didn’t quite have it in me (stressed, self conscious, depressed), besides I had exams in 2 weeks. I offered my Mum a solution for the whole family; You, Dad and my Brother travel to your friends, let me go to my grandmothers (10 minute journey) to revise. She wasn’t having it. In her mind it was we all go, or we all stay and I ruin NYE if we all stay. We stayed and she shamed me, she called me all the names under the sun, she made me feel like I was the worst thing that had happened to her life.
I didn’t sleep that night, I could here my Mum discussing how useless I was to my father ( who is useless himself). I rose on New years day early and set off to the woods, I was going to remove myself and my shitty life from existence. I slumped myself by a tree and just sat there pathetically crying, I didn’t want acne, I didn’t want to be jobless, I didn’t want to have the stress of these exams, I didn’t want to be depressed. I cried for hours and was looking for a way to end myself. Instead I just punched myself in the face as hard as I could, I physically hated myself and the situation she had caused so much.
I got up to look for a creative way of ending it and smirked at myself thinking about how I’d win this one over my Mum, but I wouldn’t and you wouldn’t. It hit me that If I killed myself THE amount of fucking attention that bitch would get would have me rolling over in my grave, it pissed me off so much that I came to my senses. I just laughed, took a photo of the still frosty woods to remind myself of ‘the day I nearly checked out’ and decided my next move.
I devised a plan, I’d revisit these woods in 6 months if things haven’t changed i.e. acne,depression,grades,mum,stress etc. I also used the scenario as motivation to better my life as I had physically set myself an expiry date. Understanding that if i could focus on the things that I can change, then I regain some control over my life. Where am I now ? I moved to London, I’m enjoying a career with a great future and I keep my Mum at bay which has allowed me to have a better relationship with her.
I realize this doesn’t offer a full solution, just understand that it does get better. Keep pushing yourself and this situation will give you the gift of resilience.
To further expand on my earlier point of empathizing with people. It’s often too underrated the ability to sincerely empathize with someones life. It’s like the whole idea of “If you stroke a shark it’ll put it into a trance as it’s never felt so good/ been stroked before”.
it’s often the same case with aggressive people, I’ve found they’re acting out due to their own shortcomings, but saying “wow it must be tough being you, I don’t know how you go about your day, i certainly couldn’t do it” ( some gay bullshit ) makes them feel good and causes them to reciprocate the feel good vibe.
Anyway I hope I’ve offered at least some food for thought. Peace
The whole list is good. #98 stands out for me. After years of hurt, I finally understand. We’ve been sold lies for so long. I no longer believe in showing weakness in front of a woman, unless it’s my mother or older sisters.
Women don’t respect weakness.
Hey man, such a story. I admire the way you took things and how you reinvented you. You were really strong.
Im glad you set a new path in your life.
Very interesting, my remarks after some pondering :
On maxim #54 : women are not only oblivious to the weak, they want him to disappear, they hate weakness in a man. It is beyond repulsion and ignorance. They see the weak as a disease to get rid of. It is social eugenism in action.
I would also add that it is extremely difficult to regain respect after being perceived as weak. The only way to reverse it is by a massive and brutal show of dominance that will have said women totally subjugated, but such a task is seldom possible.
On maxim #56 : money is relevant only in that it allows reproduction. A rich man living in a small appartment, that is, not large enough to accomodate children, will be less desirable than a man with a lower income but with larger premises. Women are only looking for a nest in which to lay eggs and a suitable partner. This nest it the end point of your power. Therefore it should be noted that material circumstances, if adequate in that regard, are more important than your income, be pragmatic.
On maxim # 58 : I would not say that emotions are not a man thing. Almost all the women I got was thanks to sharing music ( which is emotions communicated through sound ) with them. It got me “laid” and “loved” numerous times, including a long term relationship. I think that men can thrive on emotions as long as it helps them gain dominance over a woman. Reading too much into this maxim could lead a man to behave like a Khal Drogo and that may not be the right strategy for him.
Further on music : almost all composers are men. If anything, it shows we are better at communicating emotions than women and that communication of emotions are on the contrary a very manly art. I think women only possess a very limited set of emotions, anger, jealousy, love etc that they recombine and exaggerate. Here there is a parallel with the external treatment of a woman’s thoughts that you adress elsewhere : their emotions are quite basic but the output plays in loud-theatrical-mode that tricks you into thinking that emotions are one of their characteristic. I also noticed that women often fail to recognize, and feel, the emotions carried by fine music, they invariably describe music through the primary emotional colors.
So definitely, no : emotions are the preserve of men. Women react in a spectacular manner to simple emotions and master their use in machiavellian schemes. If they were the queens of emotions, there would be an enormous, ever-growing number of female composers. But that is not what we see.
Your opinion of women’s emotional palette is intriguing, I shall ponder on it.
“I would also add that it is extremely difficult to regain respect after being perceived as weak. The only way to reverse it is by a massive and brutal show of dominance that will have said women totally subjugated, but such a task is seldom possible.”
This really hit home with me. I’ve been debating on how to handle a recent break up if she came back. A breakup where I lacked financial and a bit of emotional stability and a more alpha male came along. Now I know. I was debating on really pussy blue pill shit.
You’ll never make that mistake again. At the risk of sounding self-aggrandizing, the aim of this blog is to save lives. Once we shed ignorance, we become glorious.
Thanks a ton. i mean its reading these maxims felt like something i already knew but to put it in such apt words. i salute you sir. thanks you
GOLD!
This guy KILLS ME. Reading some of his maxims, gives me the same feeling one has when they suddenly come to some realization, some truth about some topic, that they never even suspected was there. It doesn’t need to be about woman. It could be the sudden realization of some rule of thumb they had been following,but didn’t exactly know why and when they did understand it’s real significance, it makes one smile, or often feel like laughing. Later on, it makes one feel stupid,etc. LOL,
Great stuff man! I remember watching the Jack Nicholson movie “As Good as It Gets” and Jack enters an elevator and a female fan says to Jack “I love your books, how do you so know so much about women? Jack says ” I think like a man and take away all reason and accountability”. Great quote!
I remember that scene from the movie, it’s an excellent scene, a great red pill moment in mainstream media – you don’t get many of those anymore!
Could not understand Maxim #93. Any Help?
Another great list of rules! 🙂 Thanks…
Thank you for these maxims. I actually printed all of them, did my own notes on the sides(english is not my first language, so did a bit of extra work).
Could you explain the phrase in Maxim #85, quote: ”They will hate the ideas, but love the effects”. I kind of got lost here. What ideas.. as there is no mention about speaking about this to them.
You’re welcome.
You must have misread:
“Corollary: don’t mention the red pill to women, just practice it. They will hate the ideas, but love the effects.””
Yes, you’re right, my bad, I got stuck in the last sentence and so the previous one became nonexsistent for a while. I am still not sure about the ”They will hate the ideas”. So if we start from the beginning of #85, simplest fix I can see is to start with doing a simplest reframe to whatever she says she is, does or can do by using ”what she says she is, does, can do is just a way she feels right now(or she uses this weird meta level, where she says
whatever, because it would be based on what she knows about how she should feel)”.For me the first part of ”They will hate the ideas, but love the effects” is quite lost as it implies that there is an idea and that idea is being communicated. If we become NLPish, then my real questions are:
”What are the ideas that they will hate?” Is the
ideahere would mean thereframeI use?”How are the ideas that they will hate be communicated?”
Is that ment as, because of her seeing, knowing and feeling that a man does not believe everything(and sometimes anything) she says, can become let’s say a cornerstone of seduction or having the same effect at any other interaction?
I quite baffled as for now I find only this little sentence a bit difficult to grasp. There are implications included in this sentence that I need to clear to understand completely.
Thanks
Ok, so I actually had to read up on this to understand. Once I understand what is the red pill, I got it. Now I understand everything I didn’t previously. Could you please delete all my comments? They’re the ones with Edgars and the one with hockeyarenamenedzeris.
Thanks man, I will subscribe to your posts now
I think your maxims are amazing, however I read some of these guys responses and I think some of the more naive ones have not delved into hyper gamy” and solipsist. Awesome work man!!!!!!!
“godlike genetics” you mean if the man is alpha or psychopathic, am i right?
Wow. Just wow. This is probably one of your best sets of maxims. I found myself nodding while reading many of these maxims. I could immediately recall examples of these maxims in my personal life.
IM MAXIM #77 – “Solipsism means women do not perceive the world as an abstract entity, but merely as a stimulus that they experience. As such, their view of reality does not perceive independent of themselves, but strictly in relation to themselves.”
When making notes, I changed this to:
77. Solipsism means women view reality only in relation to their emotional responses to stimulus.
Upon analysis, the world as experienced is not an abstract entity. At no level is anything independent in the true sense of the word.
Please come to see the principle of interdependence and rephrase this maxim.
MAXIM #85 has great value in it. An action is worth more than a million words.
#76… they DO NOT CARE about things that don’t affect them personally. they internalize their position on a topic, get emotional over it, and then, comment on it from their point of view (as the absolute truth).
85… bc her actions say 100x more than the words (lies) that flow from her mouth. i’ve got 3 sisters that would tell each of the 2 or 3 guys they were fucking, “i’d never cheat on you.”
#96 is my favorite tho. understanding how women whore men out (time + attention + resources) is the exact equivalent to men using women for sex. men don’t value women with a high n-count (too many dix) just like women don’t value men that can’t commit (4 or 5 marriages, known womanizer, etc.). now, i fully understand why so many dropped me after i told them, “i don’t want to be (just) your friend.” they were trying to make me a “TAR” (time, attention, resources) man whore, ie, just a friend.
For “Sebastien” – or others more recent who find themselves in the same kind of predicament…
I cannot tell you what I did in a similar situation because I have not been in a similar situation. But I can tell you what I would do.
1) I would play along being as compliant as possible whenever any other person was around.
2) In a moment alone with her, catching her by surprise, I would choke her – gently enough not to leave bruises – nearly to unconsciousness.
3) I would say in a low and threatening voice as she’s fading, “I’m going to let you live this time, but if you keep pushing me or if you tell anyone about this, I’ll finish the job.
4) Resume being the compliant loving son in the presence of others.
The purpose of all this is to demonstrate to her that you have the physical advantage (she already knows this) and are not afraid to use it (she has no idea of this). Further, slipping unexpectedly from compliant son to potential killer makes her aware that she’s not the only one who can play games.
Remember, you don’t get in trouble for what you do. You get in trouble for being seen or caught at what you do.
Moment by Moment As Rollo Tomassi “TRP’s” philosophy continues to expose the feminist ideologue’s hearsay !!
Pay no attention to me…
nothing to see here…
(except a MAN shedding his Ignorance moment by moment, maxim by maxim)
…please move along nothing to see here. LOL
Thank you Rollo !!!!
U da MAN !!!
“The modern Stoic sage is someone who transforms fear into prudence, pain into information … and desire into undertaking.” -Antifragile
Quick question sparked by Arron’s reply?
Arron
July 24, 2015 at 10:07 pm
“If you’ve experienced the jealousy monster you’re aware of how overwhelming it is, when experienced your reaction is autonomous, instantaneous, almost involuntary. This is instinctive reaction, learned and experienced men can control this reaction but can do nothing to stop their inner compulsion to react, it is overwhelming. Men who were conditioned to perceive jealousy as weakness and insecurity try to ignore it and hide it, they rationalize the instinct as primitive and unbecoming of the civilized, it is these men who are easily cuckolded due to their delusion of superiority over their own base nature.”
Is the “cuckold” an expression of the male controlling repression, or the female controlling expression?
Can’t even count how many of these apply to my ex wife. Almost every single number is my favorite. Can’t believe how easy she was to read. I thought she was “unique”
Thanks buddy… I really appreciate ur great work.
with regards to maxim 82, I comprehend how to designate roles in general life, but how would you go about this with women? What roles can you designate for them?