Shit Tests Ad Infinitum

She will never stop testing you for weakness. To be crude and for a lack of more succinct language, women are what I’d consider to be perpetually biologically insecure. They are always thinking in the back of their heads “what if I have made a mistake.” It is this constant need for romantic reassurance that causes them to rigorously shit test their men, on a seemingly primal level women are utterly obsessed with feeling safe, both emotionally and materially, and so will thusly test their boyfriends/husbands to see if he still has what it takes to make them “feel safe.” Women do not rigorously shit test their men out of malice, but merely out of insecurity, out of a need to feel protected, out of a nagging sense of insecurity that they “just need to make sure” they have made the right choice and are still in a relationship with a man who is badass.

They will wear their men down with their insecurity, self-sabotaging the relationship they have with him, seeking affirmation of his strength by acting out to see how he will handle the situation. The feedback gained from “seeing how he handles shit” thusly allows her to re-evaluate her opinion of him, to deduce if he is still the strong man she originally fell in love with, or if he has become weak and thus an obsolete romantic artifact in sore need of replacement. The psychological pressure from a woman’s shit tests on a man’s psyche, repeatedly and over a period of a relationship may be the very cause in all its sheer irony for a strong man to become a shell of his former self, the very thing women despise. How or why such a man became weak is irrelevant to her, all that is relevant to her is if the man she is with is strong or not, that is her fixation, as far as she is concerned if she was so easily able to make him weak with her mind games then he is unworthy of her, period. Female nature is utterly and brutally ruthless in this way, some would even argue sociopathic, indeed what men perceive to be beautiful almost always comes with many a hidden condition attached, the incredible prerequisite that he will shoulder all and any burden on her behalf.

As soon as a man can no longer give a woman “that safe feeling”, she will leave him and find a guy who can make her feel safe. She will then rewrite history in her memory to say the man she is leaving was always a pussy and that he failed in his duties to her, she will paint him as the bad guy so that it makes it easier for her to branch swing to the next guy without feeling bad or having any sense of personal responsibility for it. She has to demonise him and paint herself as the victim within her own mind to allow herself to carry on without hating herself, it’s easy to wrong a man she has convinced herself is “the bad guy”, but a conscience makes it all but impossible to wrong such a man despite his shortcomings if she were to cast herself in the role of antagonist rather than he. She needs him to “be the bad guy” so that she can move on. As far as she is concerned, it’s his fault she lost interest in him, regardless or despite if he did everything in his power for her. It’s always the man’s fault in the mind of a woman. She wants a man she can’t change but she tries to change him as a form of counterintuitive test of his strength, and if she succeeds in changing a man into someone who is no longer dominant she will grow to hate what she has made of him.

In a way, one could say women use masculinity up in this manner. Going from one relationship to the next, weakening a man until he is no longer attractive and then when he has become too weak from his love for her, in her disgust and repulsion of what she has made him she moves onto another man only to again repeat the tortuous process. Jumping from one man to the next until she finally comes upon a man who she is incapable of compromising in such a manner, the immovable rock. This is the man who she will ultimately fall for; to women these are the men of commodity, the one’s that can be relied upon, the one’s worthy of their love.

These are the kinds of men who realise that men aren’t allowed to fall in love the way that women are, as men we can never “just love a bitch”, love and emotional indulgence are luxuries reserved for the realm of women, it is this which is their ultimate privilege, despite their seeming obliviousness to such a rule of attraction. If we, as men, are to indulge in the same emotions that women do, and let them grow to the intensity that our women do, to let them take hold of us and weaken us, we will ultimately lose the girl and become unattractive to her. In stark contrast, if a woman falls in love with a man and lets her feelings go and loses a part of who she is to that, then it’s fine, the relationship will not fall apart, the man won’t lose attraction to her because she shows weakness, in fact he may love her more for appreciating who he is as it is the ultimate form of endearment that nearly all men long to feel. Women can show weakness and be sexy but men cannot, even when such a woman is begging to see that weakness so she can “feel connected to you” it is always the burden of man not to give in to such sugar-coated duplicity. If a man is to allow himself to fall in love to the extent that he starts to lose who he is independent of that woman and her love for him, he starts to be perceived as weak and it is game over for him.

Women want you to fall in love with them, but not so much so that you don’t make them feel safe anymore. They want to be loved, but as a man if you fall in love and allow that to change who you are, to be overwhelmed by them and allow them to erode your identity, you no longer remain attractive. To keep a woman you must remain everything you were when she found you, despite everything, despite a tirade of emotional manipulation manifesting itself as shit tests. You see with women it’s not you in and of yourself that they are attracted to, it’s your masculinity and how that makes them feel which they find attractive. The esotericism of dominance is what triggers and captivates female attraction; its absence will have her discard you in search of a new source of dominance. The wholly irrational thing about this whole sordid ordeal is that you cannot properly love a woman and let them all the way into the fiber of your being without such a love directly translating into psychological vulnerability. Agápe inherently elicits vulnerability. Women desire connection with that vulnerability whilst simultaneously, feel contempt for that vulnerability when it becomes prominent enough to translate into weakness.