Ruminations on Double Standards

“When hypocrisy is a character trait, it also affects one’s thinking, because it consists in the negation of all the aspects of reality that one finds disagreeable, irrational or repugnant.” – Octavio Paz

1.) Introduction
2.) Of Protestation & Petitioning
3.) To Act Or Be Acted Upon
4.) Respect vs. Desire
5.) In Closing / Relevant Reading

1.) Introduction:

There is parallel advantage and disadvantage to living as male or female, for men are by and large deemed more credible, whilst the womanly form is more coveted. As such, if you are a man the world is more likely to respect you than it is to desire or care for you; whereas if you’re a woman, the world is more partial to be desiring and caring of you, than it is respecting. On some level, be it conscious or not, it would seem our fair species recognises women as dependants and men as their guardians, treating each accordingly.

Now on the surface this sounds like men get a better deal, and within the infinite remit of ideological feminism and the intrinsicality of feminine self-pity, this is certainly what much of womankind believes as she takes a perverse sense of pride in being the prima facie victim. Yet in reality, man’s position comes with a burden, loneliness and difficulty of life that is as equal parts alien as it is undesirable to the feminine.

2.) Of Protestation & Petitioning:

Womanly complaint makes it a common point of contention that there are matters in which by injustice of her womanliness she suffers gross disadvantage, and it is this line of thinking which serves as the foundation for feminist thought.

Let it be clear, the root and core of feminism, that is the psychological seed from which it is sprung, is the notion that one is inferior by merit of their sex, and that this inferiority is not the product of innate deficit, but of a systematic oppression that must be corrected for politically, economically et cetera. For whether a woman identifies as a feminist or not, for as long as she perceives herself as unprivileged by comparison to man, she will for all intent and purpose behave in much the way a self-identifying feminist would. This is to state that although she may decline to call herself a feminist, all too aware the connotations of such a word bode poorly for her reputation, she is ailed by the same penis envying inferiority complex that the most rabid and outspoken of feminist ideologues are.

And yet as men, we consider complaining, irrespective of its justification or substantiation, to be hallmarks of the feminine character. For even if a man has good cause to complain, he is hard pressed to do so, for the act of complaint fills him with a kind of unproductive self-loathing that appears not to plague the female. As such when one is to complain without good cause, be it that man is remiss to complain even with good cause, he is filled with nothing but disgust for the caricatural pretentions of insolence attempting to pass itself off as justice seeking.

A man acts upon, he is not acted upon, therefore if he wants, he does, he does not wait, he proceeds. Should he deign to complain, there is little chance he will be helped, and even if he is, there is yet littler chance he can be helped whilst retaining his dignity. You see whilst women are ailed by eternal dissatisfaction and a need to communicate this dissatisfaction in the petition that man will remedy her contemporary concern, man is ailed by extreme pride. As such, even when a man is truly worthy of help, he is as likely to request it as he is to receive it, and by that I mean, in much the way society is unconcerned with caring for man, man himself does not wish to be taken care of.

A man’s primary emotional concern is his pride, respect but the corollary on which it rides. If a man cannot respect himself, he cannot expect others to, and therefore a man only requests help when he has no other option, be it that seeking help is the last thing he would look to do and not the first. Rather than complain about the unfair, he will seek to rectify it through nothing but sheer volition of whatever means he has available to him. Man tries to help himself, and only after he has been massively unsuccessful in the endeavour will he attempt to seek assistance. For women the principle is reversed, she is quick to seek help, but slow to help herself should she even attempt to do so at all. Naturally, exceptions abound, but as a general statement of observation such a maxim should hold true.

It is not man’s goal to bask in the catharsis of emotional expungement and to petition others to do the bidding his emotions see fit, but rather to understand what is unoptimised and alter it so that it may improve. It is for this reason “nagging” has a strongly feminine connotation, be it that it is women who find all manner of things to gripe over as her insecurities are made fully manifest, for whilst a man changes the world via his hands, women change it by petitioning men.

Men do and take pride in doing, when they’re not doing, they’re ashamed of their unproductivity. A woman’s doings compose of influencing others to act on her behalf, be it that it may, she feels no shame in complaining, and in actual fact feels she is only exercising her natural rights in doing so. Alas, irrespective of woman’s social position, rich or poor, conservative or liberal, educated or uneducated, it is her nature to be dissatisfied with her station, and where she has little or zero problem, she will manufacture and amplify purely so she may enjoy the catharsis of complaining and all its attendant attention.

3.) To Act Or Be Acted Upon:

Inherent too is the magnificent difference in the standard of responsibility each gender holds itself to. Almost as if by some cerebral echo of sex, a woman believes the world is acting upon her, rather than she on it. Therefore when unsatisfied, she infers her condition is the fault of something external to her, and be it that it is man who acts upon her sexually, it is man she holds responsible for her dissatisfaction.

This brings us to a double standard that men dare not complain of and women care not to acknowledge, when a woman treats a man poorly, it is asked what he did to make her behave so unsightly, yet should a man treat a woman poorly, it is hastily concluded he is a monster without further investigation. Women are given the benefit of the doubt even when they have done wrong, with justifications being sought to explain away their wrongdoing – no such instinctual courtesy is extended to men.

This is a social privilege women benefit from most emphatically, to the extent that even in courts of law their punishments are less punitive, should they even be punished at all. He is acting upon and she is acted upon – this line of thought continues to reassert and perpetuate itself all around us irrespective of the material facts.

Womankind sees the double standards she does not benefit from, but is blind to those which she does, incorrectly believing in all earnest that she is most oppressed when she is in actual fact freer than her counterpart. She wishes to reform the social standards from which she does not benefit, be it that she may increase her liberty by limiting her social consequences, but she is without either concern or impetus for the reformation of double standards from which she derives preexisting benefit. This is why women lament how unfair it is their reputations suffer from promiscuity whilst man’s benefits, but are oblivious to the fact they enjoy a level of compassion and assumed innocence that is all but alien to men.

4.) Respect Vs. Desire:

When a woman asks to be evaluated on the basis of her merit in the way a man is, she knows not what she asks for. She seeks greater respect and thus the recognition inherent to said respect, but is blissfully unaware of the drawbacks that come with this. Be it that were she to be respected in the way exclusive to man, she would no longer be cared for in the way exclusive to women.

Women are objects of desire, retaining enough infantile aesthetic in adulthood to elicit the compassion and care the species feels for children. Whereas men are objects of success, that is, a man is to be evaluated on the sum of his utility and achievement. There is no cushion, nor safety net for a man who falls too far into the abyss, yet were he a woman, his decline would be cushioned and prevented by social and governmental support alike. Nobody fundamentally cares for man on the basis that he exists, this privilege is but the preserve of women and children. Rather, his position in the world is predicated on what he can produce and solve, and it is by living in accordance with this nature and having the fruits to show for it a man comes into his own.

Simply put, women covet the respect exclusive to men, but do not understand that the respect men receive is a substitute for the care they do not. That is, society does not fundamentally care for those it respects, in much the way it does not look to guidance from those under its care. When you look up to someone, you respect what they can do and what they have done, but you don’t care for their weaknesses nor their fundamental person, for if you did, you would pity rather than respect. And one may either benefit from the care of pity or the admiration of respect, but not both, for each form of love is mutually exclusive, the presence of one precluding the materialisation of the other.

An aspect of the negative feminine resents not being boss, and yet it is only because of her secondary role that she benefits from a compassion of care and empathy that men cease to receive after the infancy of boyhood. Indeed, people may respect men more than they respect women, but it comes at the cost of being cared about merely for existing, and having the freedom to be vulnerable. Alas, focusing on what she doesn’t benefit from whilst neglecting what she does, many a woman abhors being the second sex, but she does so only because she doesn’t realise she’d hate being the primary even more.

5.) In Closing / Relevant Reading:

People keep inquiring about one-on-one consulting, and thus I have put up a page to address this, see here.


Sex At Dawn


A Most Solipsistic Nature
The Nature of Women
The AWALT Misconception
Understanding Female Psychology